'Twas the Night Before Deer Camp

‘Twas the night before Deer Camp, and all to and fro

Not a creature was stirring, not even a doe.


My pac boots were set by the fire with care

In hopes that a big buck was somewhere out there.


The light weights were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of fork horns danced in their heads


And me in my boxers and Ty in his skivvies

Had just crawled inside our seek outside bivvies.


When out in the field there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed to ease my small bladder.


The sound of a snort and then a big crash

I imagined some venison and a lil Mrs. Dash


The moon from above set the field all aglow

And lit up a circle of light yellow snow


When what to my gorgeous Blue eyes did appear

But 4 average does and a 12 point BUCK deer!


He moved through the trees so smooth and so slick

I dreamed of my trigger and hearing it click


Long beamed and long tined, oh what a dandy

A deer truly deserving of old Uncle Randy


Now Ty, now Heinrich, Now Poz and Teddy!

Let’s hurry to bed and come morning be ready!


A flick to the head, a kick to the ribs

I got up first, Ty, so I get first dibs!


A handful of jerky but a pass on coffee

Ty likes espresso all creamy and frothy


I walked up to a gate and saw a sign on a spruce

It was just my luck, no motorized use


I read the fine print and must’ve looked stunned 

Land and Water...Conservation Fund


I crept down the path, walking heel to toe

Always feeling the wind and which way it did blow


And just as the breeze went from west to north

To my far left a creature stepped forth


Ty had slept in, that ginger haired loser

Now was my chance - a record book bruiser!


He paused, he waited, he twitched, he sniffed

Was a hunter there? He was totally miffed


A few more steps, around a small boulder

When a long rifled barrel slid over my shoulder


I looked back to my right and said, “Ty, what the hell?”

He gave me a shush and started jacking a shell


Now hold on there Stubbs, I think there’s another

And just right then out walked his big brother


Ty took the left and I took the right

We leaned into the stock and looked down the site


Firing a Winchester pre sixty-four

     Ty used an ultra mag to settle the score


Both rifles kicked and let out a blast

     Both deer went down hard, breathing their last


We turned to each other and let out a smile

     We’d have a long drag, just over a mile


Huge antlers are nice, and backstraps are too

     But times like this are too far, too few


By the time we had finished, the stars were all bright

Happy Deer Camp to all and to all a good night!


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