‘Twas the night before Deer Camp, and all to and fro
Not a creature was stirring, not even a doe.
My pac boots were set by the fire with care
In hopes that a big buck was somewhere out there.
The light weights were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of fork horns danced in their heads
And me in my boxers and Ty in his skivvies
Had just crawled inside our seek outside bivvies.
When out in the field there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to ease my small bladder.
The sound of a snort and then a big crash
I imagined some venison and a lil Mrs. Dash
The moon from above set the field all aglow
And lit up a circle of light yellow snow
When what to my gorgeous Blue eyes did appear
But 4 average does and a 12 point BUCK deer!
He moved through the trees so smooth and so slick
I dreamed of my trigger and hearing it click
Long beamed and long tined, oh what a dandy
A deer truly deserving of old Uncle Randy
Now Ty, now Heinrich, Now Poz and Teddy!
Let’s hurry to bed and come morning be ready!
A flick to the head, a kick to the ribs
I got up first, Ty, so I get first dibs!
A handful of jerky but a pass on coffee
Ty likes espresso all creamy and frothy
I walked up to a gate and saw a sign on a spruce
It was just my luck, no motorized use
I read the fine print and must’ve looked stunned
Land and Water...Conservation Fund
I crept down the path, walking heel to toe
Always feeling the wind and which way it did blow
And just as the breeze went from west to north
To my far left a creature stepped forth
Ty had slept in, that ginger haired loser
Now was my chance - a record book bruiser!
He paused, he waited, he twitched, he sniffed
Was a hunter there? He was totally miffed
A few more steps, around a small boulder
When a long rifled barrel slid over my shoulder
I looked back to my right and said, “Ty, what the hell?”
He gave me a shush and started jacking a shell
Now hold on there Stubbs, I think there’s another
And just right then out walked his big brother
Ty took the left and I took the right
We leaned into the stock and looked down the site
Firing a Winchester pre sixty-four
Ty used an ultra mag to settle the score
Both rifles kicked and let out a blast
Both deer went down hard, breathing their last
We turned to each other and let out a smile
We’d have a long drag, just over a mile
Huge antlers are nice, and backstraps are too
But times like this are too far, too few
By the time we had finished, the stars were all bright
Happy Deer Camp to all and to all a good night!